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I Will Never Forget This Book…

Updated: 5 days ago

Book Review

Over the years, since reading this book, I have learned a few phrases that carry me through conflict: holy resignation, firmly flexible, and leaving room for people to change. firmly f

The PeaceMaker by Ken Sande. I am forever changed by having read this book. With great Christian conviction, he explores the history of law, conflict, and peace. He engages in this conviction through Biblical content but does so in clear-cut ways allowing for a more secular reader to appreciate all that he offers. Coming from a legal standpoint of years of experience as a licensed attorney he explores the need for peace-making weaved through the whole fabric of our society. The point is, he implores you in such a way that it changes the way you view conflict, and surely it exposes the sinful nature of the human who does not want to hear the word, “no”!

I have written on my experiences with the word “no”, please rest assured this is not another post on being told no. While those are awesome posts, this post is on Peacemaking, particularly, how I applied peacemaking to my parenting of four children. Yes, I have five children, however, I had the pleasure of raising four, and another woman raised my first daughter. So, with four children you can imagine the different personalities that existed in one place, especially when you include the parentals (that is what my best friend calls her parents. lol.).

Or perhaps you do not need to imagine because you are that mom now, with four different personalities in one place. It is rough! There is hope though! I would highly recommend this book. From the “appeal process” to working through “making things right, ” there is so much to build on here.

I also realized there is a side of peacemaking that is not cupcakes and puppies. Think of conflict resolution on a global level, leaders who oversee their country's diplomacy and peacekeeping, that is quite a hefty undertaking. As they go back to their respective countries and encourage the people to be peacemakers this will likely look different for each country, people group, community, and person. While there are baseline actions in any peace-making process, conflict resolution expressed in the family unit will look different than that which is expressed in the community or on the global level within governments.

War can happen among countries and families just the same.

Oh boy, does this ring loud and clear to those of us who have made it to the other side of raising children? How beautiful is the sound of completion – when our season of teaching and instructing our little humans is over? While we may no longer be responsible for the ways they handle conflict or whether or not they will be peacemakers in their relationships, yet, we hope and pray they each remember all they were taught in the years of sacrifice and grit raising them.

When I taught Xaviar the appeal process, it went well for a time, until I was so sick and tired of having to explain every answer to this kid, that I was going to scream! Michal would not talk to save her life. It was like pulling teeth for her to even tell me what was wrong or how she needed help resolving conflict. Complete stare! The last two, forget about it, I needed an army to help them work through their differences. Although one must consider birth order too, another book I have also read that helped me get through the child-rearing years!

Put your foot in your mouth!

The Peacemaker helped shift my mindset on resolving conflict in any context from hopelessness to courage. Here are some of the points that have helped me:

  1. Conflict will always be!

  2. A gentle answer does turn away wrath.

  3. As much as we hope diplomacy works, it does not always, less expectation of certain results is best while remaining hopeful.

  4. Put your foot in your mouth!

Since updating this post, it has been some time since I peered the pages of that book. Yet, I can say after many years of practicing with the little people, the concepts shared in the book are stored away in my mental toolbox to reference whenever needed, and trust me I have needed those tools often.

#parenting #women #communication #Learning #KenSande #conflict #ThePeacemaker #courage #appealprocess #relationships #gentleanswer #hope #peace #diplomacy #peacemaking #resolvingconflict #Children #Writing #seasons #conflictresolution

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